WINNING WAYS SERIES #5: "The Significant Problems We Face Cannot Be Solved At The Same Level Where We Created Them"-- Albert Einstein.
What is guilt? This could be seen from my own point of view as those feelings of remorse or negativity judging yourself for things you either did or did not do in the past, which you believe had a negative effect on someone or something else. A good number of writers have said that guilt is a universal emotion, we all feel it. It is imperative to know that dealing with guilt is very important for our emotional and physical health. Literally, guilt can "eat away at us". It is one of the emotions that's hardest to let go off, it can create much disease within our being. A lot of people had one point in time sighed in regret of certain actions of theirs that have shaped their lives today, it could be a big guilt feelings or small guilt feelings but that is irrelevant, all that matters is our perception of the events that created that feelings of guilt and the effect the ongoing guilt is having on our wellbeing. In life, our behavioural attitude tend to either hurt or bless others we meet. In this piece, I want to expose and talk to us about the importance of overcoming and letting go of the guilt we have nursed so long in our hearts. Are you feeling guilty of that action you took many years ago that has transformed things the way they are now, those spoken words you uttered about your children, spouse and friends? If yes then this piece will serve the purpose of which you read it. Having acknowledged the fact that you feel guilty over certain actions or your deed, overcoming it is the next step you must decide this moment. In overcoming guilt, it is so important to learn from your past actions, what led to the things you did and why it could have been avoided, choosing different behaviour in the future and then letting go. One danger of guilt is that it makes you feel bad and keep you stuck in the past. Feeling guilty about something is not going to change it, it will only drag you down emotionally, physically and spiritually. Hanging onto guilt is another way of punishing oneself and one ironical aspect of this reality is that the things we regret probably didn't affect the other person or people involved as much as we think they did, in some cases such people have moved on with life and here you are depressed in guilt. The more we replay events over and over in our mind, the worse we seem to make them. Let me also state other negative effects of guilt and why you need to overcome it. Do you know that guilt can lead to a lot of self-criticism and problems with perfectionism? In this case, you see yourself not good enough or morally right as a result of past mistakes and as such you believe nothing good or positive can come out from you, you begin to live a life of blame on yourself thereby resulting to depression. It doesn't stop there. Do you know also that guilt can cause emotional imbalance and burden that can literally make us "heavy" and manifest as physical weight problems, you see yourself begin to emaciate and been isolated from people. Guilt destroys and greatly affects our self-esteem, you no longer see the potential in you rather you believe and rely on lies and fear your guilt has instilled in you. Never has a person who has guilt moved forward in life, it weighs you down and suppresses your consciousness. It causes you to loose focus and concentration about purposes in life. Lastly, it stagnates you from progress, for your conscience can't let you try something new, you feel weak and eventually give room to depression. WAYS TO OVERCOME GUILT.
• First and foremost, if there is need or you are compelled to apologize to a past deed in order to be free, I will advise you do that. Have you wonder why it seems as if your body becomes lighter after you make sincere apology and confess your deed? It is because guilt is a burden that weighs the carrier down and can only free you when you let them away from the heart. I always say to people - if you must apologize, do it not because of the guilt you feel but because you are sincerely sorry about it and want to let the feelings go.Forgive yourself-- Some people find it difficult to forgive themselves for past deeds and failures. Always you see them crying and lamenting of what they wish didn't happened. To overcome guilt, you ought to first and foremost forgive yourself realizing the fact that you weren't perfect, that mistakes are bound to happen. If you can't forgive yourself, you find yourself in a dilemma where you become depressed and frustrated about things you do. Know that things you did in the past must remain in the past and shouldn't be a yard stick to judge and determine your future or present state of mind. You need to move on, no matter your past deed but first you need to forgive yourself. • Seek forgiveness and reconciliation. One thing is to confess and apologize for a deed committed and another is to be forgiven for those actions. There are damages that can't be restored or reversed, it only takes the grace of God in man to forgive and let go. How do you reverse or restore the life of that man or woman whom your greed and insatiable desire for power, wealth and status denied the very fundamental right of living, that child you constantly abuse sexually because he or she is kept under your custody, that marriage you ruined because of greed and material satisfaction. Those feelings still hurt you because you haven't been forgiven. At this point I will say in matters related to death and other serious offences, it is advised you seek the assistance of a clergy to accompany you to that family or persons you need to seek forgiveness and reconciliation because emotions sometimes could be provoked by the presence of one who inflicted the pains. In this aspect, the clergy stands in between to plead for you for better resolution. Forgiveness is a path to inner peace.•Restitution- Another way to overcome guilt is restitution. There are some guilt that won't easily go away without restitution. In the bible a certain tax collector who received Christ in his house made a remarkable speech when he said he will restitute in double fold all he had acquired falsely. In order to be free from guilt you need to restitute that which created guilt in you in the first place, if you keep holding on to that possession, it will only end up reminding you of the deed. Confessing alone isn't enough, in a situation whereby you can restitute, it is very important you do so for it serves as an atonement for a wrong deed.Finally, I beseech you having realized your guilt, you have decided to forgive yourself for betraying the conscience in you thereby paving way to seek reconciliation and forgiveness from those you have wronged because you desire inner peace and freedom, I urge you to always renew your mind positively, never dwell in your past anymore, you are better off living a fulfilled life than living in regret. Free that resentment, anger,bitterness you hold against yourself and others for you are a new product so therefore give room for improvement. Be happy always, associate with the right people and engage in things productively to keep you sound and healthy emotionally and physically. Make the word of Christ your daily companion for it will strengthen your relationship with Him and people you come in contact with. Visualize a better tomorrow and aspire to make an impact of change to the society you find yourself. Shalom
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